common general knowledge

Scene 1
Date: 2nd or 3rd July 2009
In the R&D lab (why do they call it lab? i see no lab equipment there!)

Bulldozer: okay, we are here today to discuss about the upcoming magazine. (Lowers her voice) though we have absolutely no idea what it will have as of now, (raises her voice to normal) I am sure, we will have great minds pondering over it from the staff as well as the students in good time, now that the vacations are going on, many may be out, holidaying.... blah blah blah... but we have to keep in mind that we have limited time. (She had to pause. she is habituated to saying long sentences and realizing mid-way that if she doesn’t pause for breath, she may choke to her demise.) The main agenda of this meeting is to take the first step in the direction... blah blah blah... we need to have a theme. Anyone from the teachers who would like to say anything or would like to share ideas on the theme because thats what we want first, it being our first ever... blah blah (yaaaawwwn) blah... We will make sure students read it without having to force them (another pause for air). So would anyone like to say anything?

Anthill: (he had been for a very long time impatiently listening and waiting for a chance to speak. almost giving an impression to those who observed him that he was trying to hold back a rather loud 'call of nature') why don’t we have an article on cricket. I like the cricket. its nice game. IPL also. Students can write on it.

(I really didn’t know whether he had come up with the 'brilliant' idea out of his usual 'brilliance' or the apparent 'call of nature' made him sound stupid in the company of me and supposedly more intelligent staff. I sighed)

Bulldozer: err... Yes you are right, anthill, but we are at present more interested in the theme of the magazine and not so much on the content, although the kind of articles that will go will be largely determined by the theme, … blah blah blah.... nonetheless we will consider your idea but right now lets focus on the theme. (Inhales)

(Silence)

(57 seconds later)
Me: (out of the sheer need to break the silence) blah blah blah (its not important what I said. it does not make for a great reading anyway)

Bulldozer: yes, I think thats a good idea, the first one. Okay so rajat has come up with an idea and I think... blah blah blah... (Where does all the vocal energy come from I wondered)... I think we have something on our hands now, something that we can take into our next meeting, but I am sure some of you might have some ideas.... blah blah blah... (I was glad the air conditioner had been switched on).... so what do you think?

(Bulldozer points at one of the electrical teachers with her hand - in which she was also clutching a handkerchief - seeking her opinion. the moment the teacher saw that all eyes were on her, she froze as if voldemort himself cast a 'stupefy' curse upon her.)

Anthill: well how about an article on why students should take up sports and balance studies and play. I think in fr.agays college, students study a lot.(smiles and expects to be smiled back at. only receives looks that express ridicule) they should not study so much, I mean, they should also play. Its important.

(Now he just crossed that fine line between confusion and stupidity, from apparent confusion over to the other side. I would have him kicked out of the meeting i thought, if I were bulldozer. I also thought, if I were bulldozer, I would try resting my vocal muscles more often. I would never want to be anthill though. he proved that he is a daft.)

Bulldozer: (exasperated) oh yes anthill, we would like to have such wonderful articles in the magazine but lets now concentrate on the theme. Now you know.... blah blah blah.... (Anthill gave me another opportunity to curse bulldozer for the same reason. I am fed up of that voice now, I thought to myself)


Scene 2
Date: September 3, 2009
Room number 105

Bulldozer: so we.... blah blah blah.... ("I walk on a lonely road”, I was singing to myself, "the only one that I have ever known, dont know where it goes....").... so kaushik, what are the topics that you have short-listed?

kaushik: "ma'am, our visual theme would be a social networking site, we thought twitter would look nice.....blah blah blah.... covering all topics and some, more importantly, are coherent with our theme of 'India 2009'.....blah blah blah.... there are topics like spirituality and youth, development vs. environment, (bulldozer nodding her head each time in acknowledgment),automobiles: hybrid cars, best places to work, blah, blah,(i was listening to him even though I had heard him read out the list at least a hundred times before. he must have the list by-heart now, I thought.),food, common English language mistakes heard on campus (bulldozer interrupted: "yeah you could talk about hinglish also", I went "I walk on a lonely road....", in my head), relatively unknown websites (bulldozer interrupted again, " WHAT SITES!.....oh, unknown websites, I thought honeymoon websites...hahehehuhuhmmm),robotic insects, and there are more.

(I was glad that anthill had been absent for all meetings that I had attended after that first one. oh yeah, but this was my first student-teacher meeting after that one in which I had been the only student. I wondered why he suddenly decided to part ways with the magazine committee; he not in the least seemed uninterested just 2 months ago. Well I am not complaining.)

kaushik: "......electronic waste, Da Vinci Robot for medical operations, Windows 7, Google Chrome OS, etc, stealth technology, 3D technology - 3D TV, 3D printer, etc, electric musical instruments - zitar etc. "

(‘Chandelier’ was quite during most part of the meeting and hardly had any participation apart ('afart'...haha) from her occasional nods and "hmmm"s. there was a pause in the conversation and she suddenly spoke, making sure, or trying to make sure most people would not be able to hear her...)

Chandelier: what is social networking...(I thought I made a mistake... she might not have said that...obviously not.... she is a teacher from the IT dept. anyway.... all those who heard her seemed to be taken aback and one of them asked her to kindly repeat what she said....)...social networking...what...(I heard only this much. I hoped she did not mean to ask the meaning of social networking. The answer to her query was on how some companies are recruiting people on the basis of their orkut profiles and stuff...doesn’t answer "whats social networking?” I thought...so maybe she didn’t ask that at all... anthill may well be absent, but I certainly didn’t want his shoes being filled by someone else... sigh...)

(kaushik who was sitting right next to chandelier, later informed me that she actually asked about recruiting through social networking sites and not what these sites are....thank god, we said in harmony..... 'whats with common general knowledge?' I thought. 'I wish it wasn’t as rare among people. 'General knowledge' and 'common sense' already are.')